Day 230 sucks so far 🤯🤬🤯🤬

It started with a 3.30am wide awake mulling things round and round and over and over.

My head is gowping….. my head is the sore body part 😬

My jaw is tense, my face is red and burning.

Ok enough with the moaning. I’ve said before and I’ll say again that I don’t write this for sympathy. I just want to share my experiences in the hope that people really how crazy a relatively normal looking person can be. I slightly smiled at that….

So yesterday, wonderful and lovely.

Today, angry, frustrated, anxious, defensive.

Drama number 1… the part for the Jeep arrived this morning and it wasn’t the right part…. AGAIN !!!! Poor Craig had to jump in the citroen and head to the garage to photograph the Jeep (which he used to be able to drive) and head back down to Pirtek to get them to make something up that would fit the connections in the photos. That part is now at the garage and they are trying to fit it on the Jeep. Fingers, toes and everything crossed.

So while Craig was doing that, I took the dogs out and had a wander round a field while the Open Reach guy worked to fix the super fast broadband which was super slow….

So I’m home and the guy has fixed the broadband.

It’s not quite the same in my new office upstairs. Still a lot better than it was.

The doorbell went when I got back in and it was the lovely Eleanor and her wee girl from Elly’s Cakes delivering some lovely poppy cookies that I’d ordered. She’s based in Gateside and I only found out in the last few months that she has a FB page where she advertises her cakes! Click on the link!! Elly’s Cakes 🎂 🍰 🧁

She asked how I was doing….. bet she wished she hadn’t?!?!?! 🤯🤬😂🤣

So the next drama was the new desk that I bought from FB buy and sell overnight. So I had messaged a few folk about desks, figured the cost of delivery was too high so was happy with the camping table as a desk instead. I’d seen one desk that was £40. The guy messaged last night and said he could give me it for £30 if I was still interested? Did I like it enough? Did I really want that one? Ah but he’s close to home. He’s now offering to deliver it for £40. He can bring it today. Ok it will be great it’s meant to be….. did I really like it???

So my darling husband hits the nail on the head again saying that I only went for it because it was £40. He is right. I’m not over the moon with it. It’s not perfect. It’s a bit bigger than I would have liked, it takes over the room. Not sure. Honestly though with the mood I’m in I’m not sure anything would have worked today….

So Craigs off out to work and I have calls to make but I thought I’d write this first to get my head straight. Mum also called and got it between the eyes. Poor woman was only out for a nice walk thinking she’d have a wee chat. Wham!

In some good news Abbie the camper is coming on in leaps and bounds at Tartan Campers!

So there have been lots of good things today and I am calmer as a result of spelling it out. If you’ve read this far there will be a medal at the end…..

I’ve spent some time with candles on, crocheting and listening to Fearne Cotton’s podcast Happy Place .

I do feel calmer. Honestly the anxiety I’ve had today is totally out of control. It’s a Tasmanian devil whirlwind that sucks everything into it. It’s irrational but overwhelming when you’re in it.

Thanks for listening…

Stay safe everyone 💜❤️💜