Day 195 I write because I am finally listening to myself 🥰

It’s only 10.42am and I’m blogging already which is unusual for a Monday. It’s not that I am bored or have nothing to do but just that my anxiety is running wild today and I need to think it through. I need to write it down to understand it.

I had an “out for the count” sleep which was great. Woke up with a whirring mind and I can’t stop it. All I had to do this morning was walk the dogs, shower, make some calls and have a meeting with Pawsitive Solutions.

Craig walked the dogs… I chose not to have a shower 🤭 and so all everything was taken away. Yet still the anxiety pulses….

I’m not worried about the meeting. I’m digging deep to see if I am but I feel good about starting some puppy training. It feels right. Maybe it’s just the fear of the unknown. I was petrified before I started volunteering…. that building up of confidence from rock bottom even to ground level is hard work. It’s just what needs going through to get there.

I also saw photos of myself at Christmas last year (while I was looking for something else) and thought I can’t have another Christmas as that size. Determined to do something about it. Yet I can’t even think about shopping or food prep on top of everything else just now… maybe it’s just that.

Normally by now, I have thought enough that I have the aha moment…. but not today.

It’s now 16.23 and I feel jittery, like you do when you’ve had way to many coffees. Except I’ve felt like this all day.

Going to switch off for the rest of the day and hopefully that helps and tomorrow is a new day. Write this one off to a not so good one and get over it.

Stay safe everyone 💜💜💜

4 thoughts on “Day 195 I write because I am finally listening to myself 🥰

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