Day 179 turning around a bad day 😢 😔 ☀️ 🚶🏽‍♀️🐕 🎧 💺 🧶 🧘🏻‍♀️ 😍

When my eyes open at first I am usually pretty in tune with my state of mind. That’s doesn’t mean that I wake up saying this is going to be a bad day but a quick scan of thought process etc shows me that we’re gonna need to do some work to make it better.

I used to be this person…. days on end I would just sit like an empty shell. I know that these days are over for now but I need to work harder on the tough days.

This came up on my FB timeline. (I always feel like my time alone knows what I need to hear on a specific day…. I’ve been very aware of negative talk in the last few days.

I feel sluggish but not as bad as I have done. I have been wanting to listen to Russell Brand’s podcast and he did one with Brené Brown called Vulnerability and Power which I’ve added the link to. It’s was really calming to listen to while walking the dogs up to the old golf course. It was hoodie weather but beautiful.

About 8.38 minutes in Brené talks about her life of sobriety. She says that when your sober there is no release from angst, there is no rapture, there is no angelic choir that surrounds you, it’s just small moments of understanding and self love and integrity with a lot of horse shit in between…. that really struck a chord with me as I don’t ever get away from how I feel if that makes sense. There is no “let’s just have a drink” and that makes it all better anymore.

Looks like clouds rolling in from the sea but they’ve never come to anything yet

I mad them pose but Bhru and Freya were knackered with all the running around!

Calaidh off on her own foraging as she always does!

Heading home… much slower pace than when we headed out!!

I am trying to do this through the week but as it’s Saturday I’m just taking this as a down day.

This is good to read and it’s helps ground the anxiety

I wheeled Grans chair outside reclined it and did some crochet! 🧶

I then went onto Suzanne Robichaud’s webpage and downloaded a meditation to try to reduce my reaction to triggers. I lay back set it on and fell asleep…. woke up at the end. Hope I managed to get some of it in my sleepiness but will do it again tomorrow. I love the sound of her voice.

My in-laws had lunch in the pub next door so I popped in to see them for a wee chat. The brought our washing back and it smells just as wonderful as I knew it would!

Wee Cookie popped in to see her pup pals!

We are off out for dinner tonight with Dave and Angela who we know through Overland Bound. I must head for a shower before we go and will post this now. My heads not been right but I have tried my best to fix it. I have got thru 100% of this and will keep on doing so.