Day 134 anxiety and tension takes its toll 🤯😡and…. relax… 😔

Had a good laugh with the Crochet Hookers last night. I’ve got them all on alcohol free Gin now so they can still drive home! I managed to do one more full square for Craigie’s blanket which was a bonus too and no mistakes this time just because I was chatting. We’re awake at 6 this morning and it’s misty and damp looking outside but it’s meant to heat up today so hope the sun burns it away soon. No more rain today I hope. That’s been soul destroying!!

So after a bit of exploring throughout the day it’s safe to say I am not in the best frame of mind…. I feel very anxious, stressed and almost angry. The tension is unbelievable. My right shoulder, back and arm are sore even when I walk…. don’t worry I have not taking to walking on my hands?!?!!?

My Auntie Jac popped down for a bit today and I cried when I she asked how I was…. just wan o’ they days I guess.

I was very breathless which is the anxiety taking its toll. Thinking about a million things at once and while I had a lot to do it was nothing that was really bad. I had to get out the house for a bit though.

We went to Auchengree dam shop for a roll and a coffee. First time back there since March! they have a one way system through the shop and out the cafe.

I felt a wee bit better after a wee trip out but had to be back for 12pm as I had a guy coming out to measure up for shutters for the bedroom window between 12 and 5. I also had 4 calls to make so did that and then we popped into the Gateside Inn for a bowl of soup.

By this time my shoulders, right arm and wrist are aching, a real toothache type pain that I just cannot shrug. I am almost tensing up by the minute. I feel angry and hate that I feel this sore.

The blinds guy turns up at 3 and no he’s not blind, measured up, quotes and goes and by this time I am almost grinding my teeth with stress.

Thankfully I have Shelagh Cumming’s Emotional Freedom Technique tapping group at 4. It was meant to stop as lockdown was eased but we all enjoyed each other’s company so much that she’s kept it running once a month.

Strangely everyone said they felt the same so we worked on the pain. How did it feel? Where was it? What was it telling us? apart from naturally calming down the tension through the tapping group, my pain was telling me that I was really tired and I needed a rest. I needed to relax.

By the end of the group I felt better. The pain does not just magically disappear but it helps us understand it and give it what it needs.

Nana nap…… from 5-6.10pm precisely. It’s now 8pm and I’ve been working on the blog since then and honestly do feel a whole lot better.

I’ve fought another day and you know what it was hard but I won.

Stay safe everyone 🌈🌈🌈