Thanks for all the lovely words or support from yesterday. I feel so much better today… I did end up taking the dogs out last night and dragged myself round 13.5k steps. I would never have done that without the encouragement. Craig was cheering me on every time I came to swap a dog (with the fire on and a glass of wine in hand!!!)
So full mind scan when I opened my eyes at 6.30am suggested today was an energy day but just after another weeeeee nap! Got up at 10! Craig had a call this morning so I thought I’d better get them all out at once so he didn’t have any howlers in the background trying to reconnect with the rest of the pack! Bhru and Freya are hilarious when I take Calaidh out… proper wolf style howling!
Wanted to talk a bit about this as I hit 500 days without drink since the start of 2019 but I couldn’t have done this without Craig’s support and the group After Dry January on FB.
ADJ was set up in late Jan 2019 when a group of us had almost completed a successful Dry January and didn’t know what to do next. A guy Darren that I’d been chatting with decided to run a group for Feb onwards and a few weeks on asked me to be admin with him.
I don’t think I ever had any intentions of giving up alcohol, we live next door to a pub after all and its the pivotal point of the village, socialising with a few drinks is just what we do. Over the years though, my reaction to drinking was getting worse. I was blacking out a lot, probably as on a constant diet I would save calories for wine rather than have food before I had a drink. I was using it to mask the awful days at work, a crutch to get me through the my ever decreasing mental health. I’d get in the car to head home from work and nothing mattered more than pouring a glass of wine, my life revolves around it. I had the fear the next morning, what had I done, said etc etc. So when I did dry January I had no plans, no big eureka moment. It was hard work to sit in the pub drinking Diet Coke but it was also really rewarding not to have any hangover the next day. Once I got through the first few rounds I was ok with not drinking but the first round was the hardest. Why me? Why do I have to stop drinking? Why can’t I just drink like the rest of them???
With the help of the wonderful group on ADJ we all got through the hard times and kept going. We knew that life without the fear would be better but had to work to get there. In May of 2019 my anxiety and depression came back with a whammy… I ate for Scotland, put on weight, felt so sorry for myself and yet nothing to look forward to as you might look forward to a wee glass relaxing at night. The guys in ADJ have become a part of my life. I’ve made some great friends and yet I’ve never met them. They have supported me through the worst of everything and had an answer to it all. I can’t thank them enough.
I chose to drink on Friday 20th March when the pubs were told to close down due to the spread of COVID-19…. it came from nowhere but I wanted to have some wine. I must have been a big 445 days in by that time. I drank rosé wine. I had a glass. I didn’t like the feel of the glass on my hand, didn’t like the taste, didn’t like the smell and didn’t like the feeling it gave me as I felt it flow to my toes…. so I had a Diet Coke. Then I had another glass of wine and carried on the rest of the night on wine. That showed me 100% that my decision to stop was the right thing for me. When it gets in my veins I am not in control and I just want to guzzle it despite not liking it.
So…. 500 days in total not including that one and I’ve saved £3,823 based on the amount I drank a week. Where is it???? They also reckon 214,000 calories but I’ve more than made up for that in Dolly Mixtures and Giant Chocolate Buttons!!!! That’s my only regret that I gave up the drink and out on all that weight but hey…. the fat loss will come!!
Better go as I’ve been told I can only play chess when I don’t touch the phone….. yessir bossy boots. Wish me luck. I don’t do games….. ❤️❤️❤️
Quick note… I lost but I had him in check 3 times before he finally got me!